Tuesday, September 06, 2005

The Search for Something

Life in a densely populated island of no more than 700 sq km is comparable to the life of chickens in the pen. Sometimes being at home is like enclosing myself in a pen within a pen. This kind of feeling occasionally haunts me, reminding me to leave the house to take a walk, do some shopping, run some errands, just to go somewhere else rather than to stay at home. Alright, I've been outdoors now and done with my activities. What's next? Return home, of course. I returned home feeling slightly much better than before but still having a feeling of emptiness.
I wonder if the coop up feeling is due to my mental state of mind or due to the physical environment? I think I know the answer to my own question. It's my mental state of mind. I often lament about the lack of resources, opportunities, excitement and so on even. The fact is I am blinding myself, stripping off everything that's good and casting a first-world as third world. Perhaps I'm spoilt but I don't think so. I'm just searching in vain for something that is there all the while but I can't see.
Now I know. It is not a physical place, its near. It's within myself and only I can overcome this feeling.


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