Wednesday, October 05, 2005

Come On Baby Light My Fire!

A shot of adrenaline ran through my veins when I saw my dinner caught fire in the microwave. I hate kitchen gadgets. Gadgets are supposed to be used for entertainment purposes like tv, amplifiers, ipods or for work purposes like digital cameras, computers stuff, not in the kitchen. Cooking should be done in the old fashion way.
Nowadays, we have lots of excuses not to cook but to resort to frozen meals. No time. Too tired. Grab a dinner from the freezer and wham the coolerater door. Plonk the food in the microwave. Slam the door. Press a few buttons and let your dinner do a ballerina dance in the ultra high-frequency electromagnetic waves theatre.
What happened this time round? I never get used to the stupid microwave or rather I didn't want myself to. I preheated the oven to 175C and throw in my cheese soufflés on a steel rack and set to 20 minutes on the Crisp function. Minutes later, white smoke billowed through kitchen, into my dining room and into the living room. I ran towards the overheated white box and popped the oven door. My cheese soufflés looks like charcoal blocks. Suddenly, vroom! They caught on fire. It's like magic. I would be in ecstasy if I'm a castaway who has created fire in a deserted island. But I'm not. The fresh surge of oxygen coupled with high temperature causes my poor cheese soufflés to combust in flames. I'm on hot coals. I don't know what to do. Water, extinguisher or sand? What? I've got no sand. Damn! I realised that I cannot operate the mini extinguisher that I've purchased months ago. Water! Yes, water. Splash. Sizzle. More smoke. Splash again. Psss... The flames were gone. Oh no! Water and electricity = High chances short circuit. Quick, pull of the plug! For a moment I thought everything has ended. It didn't. The smoke was choking me. My eyes twitch. The entire house was blanketed with a fog of smoke. What will the neighbours think? I can't have them knocking at my door. Quick, air the house! Get rid of the smoke. I turned on the ceiling fans. It's not working fast enough to get the smoke out. I have to grab an extra fan. My nimble limbs brought up the stairs to fetch the standing fan. I ran down with this extra burden. Shit! I've grabbed the vacuum cleaner instead. I ran upstairs again, grabbed the fan, came down quickly eject the plug and turn it on.
This ordeal lasted from less then 5 minutes. Part of my dinner is gone. Burnt and wasted into the trash can. The burnt out scent lingers on my hair. I've to get the oven fixed. How nice! :-/


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